Background: I'm living in one place and desperately wanting to live in another. Finding a rental place has been a long, emotional process, partly because my situation is complicated due to my cancer experience. I've found a landlord who is willing to rent to me, but he's having delays with his current tenant. During these delays, I unconsciously revert back to focusing on the clock ticking, (time running out where I am), and not wanting to stay here one more day, anyway.
Michael spent 3 weeks in the wilderness on a NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School) course for outdoor educators. He explained that they had to cross many rivers. Depending on where they crossed, they used different strategies. In each case, first they would hike up and down the river to find the best spot. Then they'd decide on a strategy, and cross.
I was already aware of what was derailing me. It was this: should I keep pounding the pavement and look for another unit until I'm holding a signed lease? Or spend my energy on my next steps?
Michael clarified: "Oh, we only hiked up and down the river about one block in each direction. We didn't hike miles." Oh. I've certainly hiked along my river, and I found a crossing. I also like this crossing. Michael then asked, "Other than the current tenant who's there, has anyone given you cause to think they don't intend to complete this process of getting you into that unit?" Nope. Everyone else (on my end, and the landlord's) are doing what they can to arrange things for me to end up living in his rental place. To them, it's just a timing issue.
To me, only when I unconsciously revert back to fear-based thinking, it morphs into a decision issue. What if the landlord changes his mind? Michael responded that EVERY river crossing, no matter how shallow the water, involves risk. They do their best to make a wise decision, then act on it. I have a place to rent, and things are moving consistently in that direction. Yes, it's a risk to just trust the process and let things continue to unfold. But it feels better to do that, than to keep searching along the river.
As my son, sister and friends remind me, if it doesn't work out, I can respond at that time. I can start looking again, if need be. There's a balance between being proactive and practicing patience as life unfolds. I also know from my personal experience that, IF this doesn't work out, the timing will be right for finding the next option. Looking for it now will not produce fruit. Looking for it when the time is ripe, will.
Trust, until it becomes automatic, is a decision I have to make. I'll cross the river here. I'll trust, and respond as things unfold. Meanwhile, I'm focusing on my next steps, which include fulfilling my pre-cancer unmet promise to myself - that I would blog on a regular basis. This feels good!
Thanks for being there, and reading my posts.
© Vick Nelson - TrustingJoy.com Please feel free to share this post.